Precinct delegate and convention deadlines are TODAY!

You know that song, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to?" Well, if you want your crying to be heard throughout our local and state Democratic Parties, today - July 30 - is your last chance.

Today is the last day you can file to run as a write-in candidate for Precinct Delegate. Remember, many precincts have at least one or two more Precinct Delegate spots than candidates running, making it very easy for a write-in candidate to win. Mine is one such precinct, and Mom is running as a write-in. Grandma's precinct has zero Democrats running for four spots; if she was in better shape, I would have prodded her to run herself.

It's also the last day to join the MDP or renew your membership in time to vote at next month's Democratic State Convention.

I have been an MDP member and a Precinct Delegate for four years now, and I gotta say: It's a lot more fun to get involved than it is to sit on the sidelines whining.

Deregulation in 1,000 words

I haven't made you laugh in a while

So let's do something about that! We'll start with some one-liners.

• The first Ten Commandments are the hardest.
• People who are wrapped up in themselves are overdressed.
• An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
• A word of advice...don't give it.
• If we made it illegal, do you think more people would vote?
• I am logged in...therefore, I am.
• A journey of a hundred miles starts with an argument over how to load the car.
• Justice is blind and in some cases...deaf and dumb.
• To belittle is to be little.
• When fear knocks at the door, and you answer, there will be no one there.
• Poverty is a condition with but one advantage, it doesn't take much to improve your lot.
• The first rule of tinkering is to save all the parts.
• I'm retiring in Mexico. Sunny, affordable and no predatory reverse mortgages.
• A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
• Management's job is to keep 'em too busy to look for other jobs.
• Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
• Why are lawyers not sworn to tell the truth like all the witnesses in a jury trial?

Puns!

• Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
• A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
• A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
• A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
• A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
• When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
• The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
• He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
• He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

And finally, in honor of Phoebe, a golden lab whom we are adopting this week: Rules for dogs!

NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.
VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.
BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark -- a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark...
LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.
HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.
DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.
THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.
DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's also a good time to practice your sniffing.
HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.
GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.
COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.
PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.
CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never quite catch them. It spoils all the fun.
CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry. ...Eat a shoe.

By the way, these were emailed to me.

Robert C. Byrd, Independence, and Change

(Fourth of July thoughts - sorry they're a few days late!)

Life is change. Life is what? Change. - Judson Laipply, speaking at Leadership Safari at Central Michigan University in 2005

Much has been said about Robert Byrd, his career, his life, and his longevity. There may not be much that I can add to the discussion, except for a few thoughts of my own.

Every life can teach us a lot. Senator Byrd's life is no different. Here's a man who was born into poverty, who lost his mother when he was a year old (and who himself could have easily fallen victim to the same influenza outbreak which killed her), and who transformed himself from leading his Ku Klux Klan chapter to leading the fight to preserve our Constitution.

The most important thing we can learn from Byrd's life and career is that nothing is permanent. People change, things change - change is the law of life.

A Changed Man

If you had told me that a former Ku Klux Klansman who would have rather lost his freedom than fight with blacks was in the US Senate, I would have been appalled. Likewise, I was quite disappointed several years ago to hear that Robert Byrd, whom I had already come to respect at that time, had a rather dark past.

But yes, it was true. Also true is that once in the Senate, he tried to filibuster the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and opposed Thurgood Marshall's nomination to the Supreme Court, among many other things.

Yet who else was there to stand up for the Constitution when it suffered abuse after abuse after abuse in his later years? And what a courageous stand he took in the run-up to the Iraq War - joining just 22 of his colleagues in saying no to one of the worst foreign-policy blunders any President has made. And he did vote to confirm our first Latino justice, Sonia Sotomayor.

It may seem that, in many respects, Byrd changed with the country - as other Americans became more accepting of minorities, Byrd himself shifted. I would agree, though I would also argue that Byrd shifted much more in the direction of liberty and justice for all than most people. Here was a man who went from the Klan to being one of the more liberal members of the Senate. But while blacks are no longer sprayed with firehoses, they still find it more difficult to thrive in our society than whites. And of course, they are not the only group to be denied equality.

A Changed Country

Yet, as hard as it may be to see it, change has happened. Just look at who's in the White House. Or consider that 150 years ago, people who looked like him were enslaved. Or what about the fact that some of the Founding Fathers were themselves slave-owners, including Thomas "All men are created equal" Jefferson.

We can be thankful that participation in our representative government is no longer limited to the aristocratic class - not being a property owner, I probably wouldn't have been allowed to vote in 1810, and even if I could vote, I wouldn't have been able to elect my state's US senators.

Yet I can still remember the chill that ran down my spine the first time I found myself in a voting booth. It was the primary election in 2006. Our fine Governor, Jennifer Granholm, and our smart Senator, Debbie Stabenow, were unopposed for renomination, though both faced potentially tough fall campaigns. I was happy to support them and other Democrats running unopposed, as well as a neighbor of mine who was running for Congress in the only contested Democratic primary on the ballot that year. I also voted for a judicial candidate and in favor of three ballot proposals in Kentwood.

Of course, I also got to vote for myself for the first time. I was one of three people running for three spots as Democratic precinct delegate that year. Needless to say, I won - and I'm glad I took my friend's advice to run in the first place.

Through voting and getting involved, I felt a sense of power - power to help choose our leaders, power to make my voice heard, power to make our community and country better.

Our Republic, Our Power, Our Responsibility

"But ScottyUrb," you might say. "Look at what's going on. Our government is broken. Congress is dysfunctional. Greed and arrogance reign supreme. Since when do we have any sort of power?" Well, I understand that sentiment. I'm ticked off about a lot of things related to government right now. But as the Declaration says:

That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

The point? The government gets its power from us. Even the wealthiest, most entrenched politicians depend upon you and me for their continued (mis)use of power. It's up to us to choose whether they can keep that power, or whether it should be lent to someone else.

Change Will Happen - Good or Bad

The lesson of that history is that you must not despair, that if you are right, and you persist, things will change. -Howard Zinn

Zinn was right - except that I believe things will change no matter what. The world simply does not go on without changing. Times change. People change. Leaders change. Heck, even forms of government change. Life is change!

The question is whether or not that change will be for the better.

Just as Senator Byrd changed for the better, America has changed for the better since Mr. Byrd went to Washington. (Incidentally, he was a US Representative when Rosa Parks refused to take a back seat - literally and figuratively.) Yet we are still right to want more change for the better. Freedom to serve, regardless of who we love. Freedom of marriage. Freedom to be paid the same as our colleagues for doing the same work. Freedom of privacy.

How will we get that change? It all starts with believing that we can make that change. That's how we got Obama in the White House. It's how they ended segregation. it's how our Founders successfully broke apart from the Crown. Cynicism and pessimism aren't how we get things done; knowing that we have the ultimate power is how we will accomplish this change.

What kind of change will you help create? What will you do to bring about that change?

Will you sit around and complain that things are rigged, or that we're screwed?

Or will you actually take charge - like our Founding Fathers, and like those who have fought for equality over the years?

BREAKING: LeBron puts on socks, shoes; restroom visit imminent? (UPDATE: Now eating something)

SOMEWHERE (SNARX News) - NBA All-Star free agent LeBron James has put on some shoes and socks, sources close to the superstar tell SNARX News.

Meanwhile, there are unconfirmed reports that James may be heading to the bathroom in the immediate future.

James, whose contract with the Cleveland Cavaliers is expiring, has been courted by a few teams.

We will have more on our continuing nonstop coverage of every little move LeBron makes and every little word he says as LeBronathon 2010 continues, here on SNARX News.

UPDATE: Major breaking news!!! LeBron is currently eating. More on this pressing situation as it develops.

Bits of Tid: June 29, 2010

• The 2nd quarter of fundraising ends at 11:59:59 tomorrow - don't forget to make a small contribution to your favorite candidates!
• Rachel, how do I love thee?
  
  Of course, we learned today that the financial reform bill has had a couple of setbacks. But still, they say it is more likely than not to pass. And with Elena Kagan likely to join Sonia Sotomayor on the Supreme Court, the enormity of Obama's impact on our government is just now becoming apparent.
• "Michigan NOW likes Virg," declares a headline from the Detroit News. Of course, they speak of the National Organization for Women:
  

• Lansing Mayor Virg Bernero continues to rake in endorsements from traditional Democratic Party constituencies.

  Which goes to show who has more support from involved grassroots Democrats. At any rate, the article continues:
  

  But it remains to be seen whether the endorsements translate into campaign cash. Bernero has yet to run any TV ads, while his opponent in the Democratic primary, House Speaker Andy Dillon, on Monday launched his second spot.

  Ah, yes - reminders of how Dick DeVos got on the air early and was easily elected over Granholm. Oh wait - didn't happen like that, did it?
• More reason to like Daily Kos: Time Magazine thinks it's "overrated." Kind of reminds me of when Carl Levin was talking about the Washington Post attacking him - he said that was "a badge of honor. I never made Nixon's Enemies list, and I wanted to make up for it ever since."
• I'll have some thoughts on Robert Byrd in a few days.

Democrats still in solid contention for governor's race

Or at least that's what Rasmussen says.

Before I say anything else, let me state that I'm hardly a fan of polls. After all, only two of them will matter: The one taken on August 3, and the one taken on November 2.

But if even rRasmussen says the Democratic candidates are not trailing the Republicans by very much at this point, I do believe there is something that we ought to take from this polling.

It ain't over yet.

Numbers:

MI-Gov: Rick Snyder (R) 42%, Virg Bernero (D) 30%
MI-Gov: Mike Cox (R) 40%, Virg Bernero (D) 34%
MI-Gov: Peter Hoekstra (R) 39%, Virg Bernero (D) 36%
MI-Gov: Rick Snyder (R) 41%, Andy Dillon (D) 33%
MI-Gov: Mike Cox (R) 39%, Andy Dillon (D) 37%
MI-Gov: Peter Hoekstra (R) 40%, Andy Dillon (D) 35%

It's safe to say Dillon and Bernero don't have as much name recognition as Cox, Hoekstra, or Snyder. On that alone, they should be doing a lot worse in these head-to-head matchups.

Notice, also, that the Republicans are also polling significantly under the all-important 50%. They also do so in other polls. Normally that's not a good sign for an incumbent to be under 50%, I would also argue that given their name recognition, this is not good And for much the same reason: Just as voters usually know a thing or two about an incumbent, they should also know a thing or two about these three Republicans.

So why am I mentioning all of this? After all, I just said that I'm not a fan of polls!

Well, what it says is that this election is not over yet. When people know more about Virg and/or Andy, one can reasonably expect that their numbers will rise. Right now it's"the devil you kind of know or at least have heard about" versus "the devil you don't know." When it's "two devils you kind of know or at least have heard about," our "devils" will fare better.

Gone are the days of many Democrats fearing that the governor's race was all but lost. Instead, the focus in Democratic circles seems to be upon the candidates themselves.

Speaking of polls, I read somewhere that 70% of Michigan Republicans say they are more excited about voting in 2010 than they were in 2008. Meanwhile, "only" 42% of Democrats feel that way. Kind of surprising that a full 42% on our side say they are actually more eager to vote this year than in the Year of Hope, Change, and a 15-point win for Obama in Michigan. (Don't tell the Press, which considered that "grim" news for Democrats.)

Some jokes I've received via email

This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more Catholic Churches than casinos in Vegas.

Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday Mass will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.

Since they get chips from many different casinos, the Churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.

The Churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.

This is done by the chip monks.

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.

Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sits calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that G~d's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.

Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"

The man says, "Yep, I sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"

The man says, "Nope, I sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, asks, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"

"Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."

One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, "There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!"

Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?"

Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"

The dessert chef was very smart. He had graduated Pie Baker Kappa.

You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.

Cheddar is as Gouda cheese as any American could wish for, and while we Edam all that is something one could never Provolone.

The Alpine Skiing competition started poorly and went downhill from there.

My girlfriend scares me, so every time we go to dinner it's intimi-dating.

I thought the telescope was broken, but after looking into it further, I found out it was not.blockquote>

Bits of Tid: June 5, 2010

• John Fugelsang has some good tweets on Twitter. One good one recently:
  
  

  The spill isn't Bush or Obama's Katrina. It's Deregulation's Chernobyl.

  
  
• Steve Benen raises an important question: Why is President Obama being criticized for doing what other Presidents were not criticized for doing? Examples Benen cites include bowing; appointing 'czars;' and even casual dress.
  
• Gov. Jennifer Granholm and Rep. John Dingell have taken steps to declare on a governmental level that Andres Gallaraga did, in fact, pitch a perfect game. Normally I'm against that kind of thing, but if this is all Dingell or Granholm had done this year, they still would have done more to stand up for what's right than certain other politicians.
  
• Alice Corey died this week at 59. Those of you who live in Michigan's 3rd Congressional district, she was one of our delegates to the 2008 Democratic National Convention in Denver. I won't soon forget the passion she showed when she was elected as a delegate in April of that year.
  
• John Wooden, who also died this week at 99, gave us so many good quotes that I can't decide which is my favorite. One I like:
  
  

  Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.

  
  Wooden would know.
  
• Finally, for some good news: I have been elected the new Grand Knight for Knights of Columbus Council 4362! That means I will be in charge of the Council starting on July 1.

May we never forget.