10 reasons Mitt Romney isn't running

  1. His poll numbers weren’t the right height.
  2. Not sure he can get binders full of votes.
  3. 47% of corporations are dependent on the government for corporate subsidies. He’s not going to get their votes.
  4. Jeb Bush promised him he’d be ambassador to the Cayman Islands.
  5. Speaking of which, Chris Christie threatened traffic problems in the Cayman Islands if he ran.
  6. He lost a $10,000 bet, so the poor guy is down to his last $250 million.
  7. Big Bird advised against it.
  8. Training to beat Paul Ryan’s marathon time.
  9. Rather than Mitt himself running, he’s getting Bain Capital to run instead. They’re people, my friend!
  10. Wants to spend more quality time with his money.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

don't be so sure he is not running. This way he avoids being targeted by fellow repubs, who will start taking out each other, and possibly opening the door for mitt to come and save the day. If it works, it is less effort and money lost for him.