ScottyUrb faces stiff challenge in re-election bid for Precinct Delegate

KENTWOOD, MI (Unassociated Press/Snarx News) - Scott Urbanowski, the funny and mildly attractive blogger known on the series of tubes as ScottyUrb, has filed to run for a third term as Democratic Precinct Delegate in Kentwood - beginning what is expected to be a contentious campaign for re-election for the 22-year-old activist, blogger, and soon-to-be Central Michigan University graduate.

"There has been no greater spokesperson for truthiness, justice, and the American way," said Urbanowski, who ran as Stephen T. Colbert's vice-presidential running mate.

While Urbanowski is used to facing competition - he won by one vote in the 2008 election - this time will be different. In the wake of the controversial Citizens United v. FEC decision, he expects many serious contenders in his bid for re-election.

Among them are:

HAL E. BURTON - Comes from, ahem, a well-oiled machine.

CARL ISLE - See above.

WALLY MART Known for sexist tendencies. Claims foreign-policy experience; takes credit for supporting economy of Communist China.

AL TICOR - Formerly known as Amway. Dream Job: Host of The $100,000,000,000 Pyramid Scheme.

GOLDMAN SACHS - HUGE campaign war chest.

TOY OTA - Campaign slogan: "No Slowing Down!"

DOM INOS - Campaigning on its "new taste" and "pizzazz."

J.P. MORGAN CHASE - Notably quiet on the bailout issue.

AL COA - Campaign slogan: "We Deserve A Metal."

CAT R. PILLAR - Accused of dirty deals, they say they're well-grounded.

MIKE ROSOFT - Slogan: "Voting for librulz doesn't compute!"

1 comment:

PB said...

If you wanted to build on your success, you might want to consider running for the 13th County Commission District that covers Kentwood. Don't know if there is any DEM candidate yet.