10/19/2007

BREAKING: Colbert chooses Urbanowski as vice-presidential running mate

KENTWOOD, MI - Presidential candidate Stephen T. Colbert announced Friday the selection of progressive blogger, Democratic activist, and Michigan Liberal front-pager Scott Urbanowski to be his vice-presidential running mate.

"His commitment to truthiness makes him a top-notch candidate," declared Colbert said. "No one has done more for the wrist-awareness movement than has Urbanowski."

Both Urbanowski, who turns 20 on Sunday, and Colbert dismissed concerns that he was too young or inexperienced for the job.

"It is unpatriotic to criticize people’s youth during a time of war,” said Colbert.

"If anything, my youth and inexperience make me a better, not worse, candidate. I will be younger than Bush, and less experienced than Cheney - yet I am already smarter and less of a snob," noted Urbanowski, a junior at Central Michigan University.

"What’s more, unlike two people who have held the job I’m seeking, I haven’t shot anybody."

Due to his age, Urbanowski technically is not allowed to become Vice President according to the Constitution, but he says that shouldn't be an obstacle.

"The Constitution hasn't stopped the current administration - why should it stop me?"

Urbanowski, known in the blogosphere as ScottyUrb, says he embraces the opportunity to hold an office held by only 46 others in American history.

"To follow in the footsteps of such legends as Daniel Tompkins, George Dallas, William R.D. King, Thomas Hendricks, and Charles Fairbanks - what an honor that would be," said Colbert's new #2.

Urbanowski was elected to the post of Democratic Precinct Delegate in his hometown of Kentwood, MI, in 2006. He has been a Democratic activist since the 2006 elections, when he did literature drops, made phone calls, wrote letters to the editor, and blogged like crazy.

Urbanowski is also involved in his church, the Knights of Columbus, and campus life at CMU.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hahahahaahahaahah

Happy almost birthday!

JPowers155